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Parents and pastors don’t know how to minister to gay teens well, so they outsource the care. Unfortunately, many parents and pastors first react to a teen sharing about his attractions by sending him to a therapist or a parachurch ministry outside of the church to “fix” him. Then, when teens realize they are gay, they quickly share with their parents and pastors, inviting them to help them learn how to steward their sexuality in God-honoring ways.Ĥ - Do pastors and lay leaders in your church know how to minister to LGBT+ Christians well? Before a teen realizes he or she is gay, the teen hears that gay people don’t choose who they are attracted to, that they have nothing to be ashamed about, that we won’t try to fix them, that we don’t love them any less, and that God has good and beautiful plans for them.
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Instead, a church that passes the Gay Teen Test talks about same-sex attraction in age-appropriate ways across the lifespan. Most often, this means that a teen has either developed shame, depression, and suicidality or adopted a progressive sexual ethic (and often both). That’s five years that a teen makes sense of these questions alone. On average, teens wait five years after first recognizing their same-sex attraction to talk to a parent or pastor. Most churches wait until a kid shares that he is gay to address the topic of homosexuality. Plus, LGBT+ people in your church still in the closet will know what you believe, your love for them, and that it is safe to share their story.ģ - Does your church make sure every child knows that God loves gay people and has good plans for them? With compassion and theological accuracy, they explore the following questions: How does same-sex attraction develop? What part did God play and why? Does same-sex attraction change? How should gay people meet their intimacy needs? How do LGBT+ people fit in God’s story? How is God’s invitation to LGBT+ people good? As a result, everyone in your church knows how to love LGBT+ people well and reflect the love of Christ in conversations about sexuality. Instead, a church that passes the Gay Teen Test talks publicly about the cultural questions in the intersection of faith and sexuality. Churches that sit the fence on this topic hurt gay Christians because their indecision limits their ability to invest in something better. As a result, gay people don’t know whether it is safe to share their story. Particularly in churches that avoid the topic of God’s love for gay people, the average church-goer doesn’t know how to have compassionate and theologically accurate conversations with friends. These churches teach that every Christian has the same inherent capacity for both vocations and every Christian, gay or straight, should offer the question of celibacy or Christian marriage to God.Ģ - Does your church talk publicly about the challenges LGBT+ Christians face so that they know it’s safe? These churches teach that God first calls everyone to a period of abstinent singleness during which we discern whether we are called to a lifetime vocation of celibacy or a lifetime vocation of Christian marriage with someone of the opposite sex. Instead, a church that passes the Gay Teen Test is a place where everyone is thinking theologically about their sexual stewardship, so LGBT+ Christians find fellow cross-bearers in their straight brothers and sisters. But then we call gay Christians to a higher standard of sexual stewardship by allowing straight Christians to misuse marriage for their romantic fulfillment while asking only gay Christians to consider celibacy. This leads to high divorce rates and a void of theology and practice of lifetime abstinent singleness among straight Christians. Most churches today lead straight Christians to assume that they will get married, teach that we need romantic companionship to be happy, and ignore the Bible’s teachings about lifetime celibacy and divorce. Does a mix of silence and hypocrisy in your church lead teens to reject a traditional sexual ethic and, often, God altogether because of their confusion, shame, fear, loneliness, and hopelessness? Or does your church courageously lead compassionate conversations about God’s love and plan for all people, setting up gay teens to embrace the beauty and the burden of the gospel?ġ - Is your church a place where everyone is thinking theologically about their sexual stewardship? Our Gay Teen Test asks whether what gay teens in your church hear and see sets them up to fail or flourish. What’s our vision for churches? That they would pass EQUIP’s Gay Teen Test.